In through the Out Door

Thank you for joining us to celebrate Bob Moorman’s life. I’d like to do this by recalling three lessons that I learned from our Dad.

Before starting, I’ll speak to the last couple of months, which I’m sure, you all know was a struggle. The support that was provided by so many family and friends was very important to my father. Mom, your strength through this has been an inspiration for all of us. This was a time when all of my family came together to help care for my father. The burden placed on some, because you happened to be closer, was greater. Thank you for the sacrifices you’ve made over the last several months. Finally, I want to acknowledge the care provided by so many healthcare professionals over the last several months. I won’t name them, but some do stand out for going above and beyond to make my father as comfortable as possible.

Now getting back to “In Through the Out Door”. Most of the things I learned from my father were implicit, through observation. One message that he made sure we all heard explicitly was that sometimes you should just go “In through the Out Door”. Why did Dad think this was an important message? The most obvious part of it was that we needed to think for ourselves – and for someone who had directly witnessed the horror of Kamikaze attacks, he felt deeply about the dangers of letting others think for us.

As I observed Dad over the years and gave this more thought, I’ve come to realize that this approach stands on three legs all of which my father possessed.

First, he knew and deeply valued the difference between right and wrong. This was rooted in his Faith, in the values that he learned from his own parents, and from his strong patriotism and community ties.

Secondly, he always tried to show respect and courtesy to others (I’ll come back to this point).

And finally he recognized the importance of the rule of law. He certainly wasn’t suggesting that we become anarchists – at his core he remained a Marine - and he recognized that there will be occasions where you may have to pay a penalty for going in the out door – although I did see him talk his way out of speeding tickets more than once.

The second lesson I learned from Dad was the value of Frugality. I use the term “learn” loosely here since neither myself, nor my siblings have managed to be as frugal as my father. Also, I didn’t say cheap. Dad was always very generous, but there is no way that he could have raised the six of us and gotten us through college without being frugal. And it not’s like we didn’t have regular extravagances. Every Sunday morning after church we would go to the Coffee Shop in South Miami for breakfast. Dad would announce that we could order whatever we wanted from the menu – pancakes, sausage, juice, eggs – just make sure the total of what you ordered added up to less than 50 cents!

Yes Dad enjoyed the good life as much as the rest of us. Especially after all of us finished with school, he and Mom were able to travel quite a bit. But throughout his life, Dad believed in the value of work, that we should save rather than go into debt, buy quality products and take care of them so that they will last. Sounds like a lesson that perhaps the whole country is re-learning.

Finally I’ll talk about something that I observed in my father, something that he never explicitly spoke about. Connecting with people was clearly very important to my father. This is evident from the number of his great friends. But he also managed to connect with strangers, often in random situations. For Dad, I think this ability was both a gift, and a practiced skill. I think it was a combination of the glint in his eye, his warm and inviting smile, his ability to observe and quickly make deductions about others, and his skill at using small talk and his wit to make others feel comfortable. This established an opportunity to share a bond, if only for a moment.

Certainly, this is part of what made Dad successful in business and as a salesman. But more importantly, Dad made the effort to make these connections because the joy that it gave others – and he took great joy in them as well. As just one example, I recall waiting as my father checked into a motel. The clerk was exhausted at the end of a long shift. It could have been a quick meaningless transaction. I don’t remember what the conversation was about, what I do remember is that at the end, the clerk had a huge smile on her face and the light had returned to her eyes. My father, although he was in pain, was smiling as well.

I’m sure all of you have your own memories of how my father connected with you. And I hope these are what you remember now.

So Dad’s, now its time for you to go out though the In door, the door straight into heaven.

God Bless you. We’ll miss you.